1.28.2011
Be Prudent In Your Choice Of Words
Lyrics are not for the faint of heart. They are simply to feed the soul. Both at once, timeless and immeasurable.
For you
I give thanks that I have known love. It has forever been etched into the very seat of my soul.
1.06.2011
The Hardest Thing Ever
For me the hardest thing ever has been to love. Well I love my family, of course. My daughter has to date been the only woman whom I love unconditionally, according to one previous girlfriend. And if there was ever any doubt about loving myself, believe it never came from me. But I have never had much success when it comes to fostering long lasting romantic love bonds. Maybe I've gotten in my own way. I have had over the years some very hard and fast rules that I've lived by, that while keeping me safe and sanity intact, have kept the world at bay. It would take the love of someone who I hadn't even met physically to quell that.
She appeared as if out of a dream. Don't laugh. I know it sounds the most cliche of cliches. But truly, the woman of which I speak plain and simply saved my life. I've never expressed it to her quite like that. But in the span of a little over a year, she broke down walls of mistrust, barriers of disconsolate despondency that have long plagued my life. And all in an instant.
Then the strangest thing happened. Strange maybe to no one else, but this same woman was able to make me feel that same depth of despair from which she once resurrected me. My comeuppance I assume. Is there any other way to explain it? Years of dodging commitment, of brokering relationship failures, it seemed to be my time to be on the receiving end. And did I ever bear the brunt of torrents of emotion that I had never known to exist within me. And I thank her for it.
I still love this woman, deeply. Dare I say she is the embodiment of love. To breathe her in in every moment, in ever way, that is my dream. My vision. If she ever reads this, ever listens to the breeze that blows on solemn sun filled days, from my shore to hers, maybe she will know the strength she has given me. God alone bears more favour in my life.
Just my two cents....
Jah Courtney
She appeared as if out of a dream. Don't laugh. I know it sounds the most cliche of cliches. But truly, the woman of which I speak plain and simply saved my life. I've never expressed it to her quite like that. But in the span of a little over a year, she broke down walls of mistrust, barriers of disconsolate despondency that have long plagued my life. And all in an instant.
Then the strangest thing happened. Strange maybe to no one else, but this same woman was able to make me feel that same depth of despair from which she once resurrected me. My comeuppance I assume. Is there any other way to explain it? Years of dodging commitment, of brokering relationship failures, it seemed to be my time to be on the receiving end. And did I ever bear the brunt of torrents of emotion that I had never known to exist within me. And I thank her for it.
I still love this woman, deeply. Dare I say she is the embodiment of love. To breathe her in in every moment, in ever way, that is my dream. My vision. If she ever reads this, ever listens to the breeze that blows on solemn sun filled days, from my shore to hers, maybe she will know the strength she has given me. God alone bears more favour in my life.
Just my two cents....
Jah Courtney
1.01.2011
LOVE? REALLY?
Day one of stop kidding myself. Seriously, I can't imagine putting myself through all of that again. Not that it was a waste of time by any means. Learned quite a bit about myself over the past year. Learned a lot about who and how I could be in a relationship. At least I think I did. But that moment for energy wasting is over. Will be a long time before that ever happens again. Still yet the blame rests squarely and solely on me. But it's good to be given a chance to exit now before making a complete ass of myself. Not that in some measure I don't feel like I already have. Just not again.
Just my two cents.....
Jah Courtney
Just my two cents.....
Jah Courtney
11.17.2010
Funny People
I will never really understand some people. Honestly, I think I will never understand the woman in my life. I mean, when I see all the hub bub going on over this "royal engagement" over in europe just recently, I think of how my family handles my engagements. See my family has talked about, scrutinized and criticized all of my girlfriends in times past. Where is my, pardon me, our, television interview with Martin Bashir?
And I love all the poise these "royals" are displaying during this charade of pomp and circumstance. Me myself, have learned to sit back quietly while all the questions are flying about at break neck speed, sourcing information that may in fact only be relevant to grandmothers and great-grands. All of my poise comes at no expense of highly overpriced boarding and finishing schools. You just kinda have to let family be family and pray that your mate is strong enough to handle it. To date though, only a handful have been able to buffer themselves against the first sortie, and might have lasted quite long had that been it.
On a side note, I think it's a little creepy that they used the mothers' old engagement ring considering what happened to her in the end. Like they're almost explicitly announcing the next blood sacrifice, if you believe in that stuff. Or maybe the first wearer just wasn't supposed to wear it at all. Who knows. Just stretching my conspiracy theory legs out on that one.
Just my two cents.....
Jah Courtney
And I love all the poise these "royals" are displaying during this charade of pomp and circumstance. Me myself, have learned to sit back quietly while all the questions are flying about at break neck speed, sourcing information that may in fact only be relevant to grandmothers and great-grands. All of my poise comes at no expense of highly overpriced boarding and finishing schools. You just kinda have to let family be family and pray that your mate is strong enough to handle it. To date though, only a handful have been able to buffer themselves against the first sortie, and might have lasted quite long had that been it.
On a side note, I think it's a little creepy that they used the mothers' old engagement ring considering what happened to her in the end. Like they're almost explicitly announcing the next blood sacrifice, if you believe in that stuff. Or maybe the first wearer just wasn't supposed to wear it at all. Who knows. Just stretching my conspiracy theory legs out on that one.
Just my two cents.....
Jah Courtney
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